Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep, dreaming about the things..

They say that a dream is not that which
you see while sleeping it is something
that does not let you sleep.

What if it’s both? You see it while sleeping and you are not able to sleep because of that.

Some dreams are filled with rainbows and candies. These are the kind of dreams that when you wake up you cannot help but let that smile slip your lips. They make you forget the Monday morning blues. They make you forget the exam which you have not prepared for. They make your day, your week. They make you look forward to the next sleep.
They make you happy for no reason at all. Your mother, gives you the weird look with her raised eyebrows as she sees you smiling while eating your breakfast. The dream. Maybe about your good results, accomplishment of your long time goals, your crush/partner or just about your cat. It can be anything and everything.

But not all dreams are dreamy.
Other dreams are also be filled with rainbows, candies and Prince Charming. The difference being that in these dreams the rainbows are black, the candies are drugged and the Prince Charming isn’t so…charming.
A dream where you are running from something but then in the end, it catches you and you hear your scream. A push down a cliff, you can feel the fall. Death of a close one. These are the dreams that we wish to forget as soon as possible. They make you afraid of sleeping. They disturb the brain to such an extent that you cannot help but overthink it.

What if your dream is the mixture of the above two?

A dream so beautiful that it scares you.

Is that possible?

They say dreams are a product of our imagination. If it is so, you start fearing your own imaginations and thoughts. It makes you feel guilty for dreaming. For thinking.

Imagine dreaming about achieving that one unattainable thing in life. You have it in your hand or in your life. Or a dream about gaining the love of someone who you have liked for long. You are ecstatic. Even in the dream, it feels surreal.

Then you wake up.
The beautiful dream makes your heart dance with joy but then the realisation dawns upon you. The thing that you achieved or the person whose love you gained, it is not meant for you. It is not good for you. It is like Eve eating the forbidden fruit. It is only after eating that she realises that the fruit was not meant for her.
You are dreaming of your own destruction which is disguised as a boon. You dreamt about things that does not rightfully belong to you. The once beautiful dream now scares you. And the worst thing, you can do absolutely nothing about it but let the guilt seep in for not being to control your dream.

These are the kind that make you realise that the things that you have been wishing for were never right to begin with. They make you realise that you have been hoping for that which is not ethical.
Inspite of the guilt and realisation, you continue to smile at the thought of it. While thinking about it, you have your moments of giggles and happiness but the regret remains there. The inner voice, the voice that directs you, it wants it to happen. For the dream to become a reality but at the same time, you are scared to death if it actually happens.

But we are humans, we like happiness, even if it is virtual. With time, these ever so beautiful yet scary dreams become our guilty pleasure. Because we know that in reality it is not practical so we start enjoying it otherwise.

Maybe it is wrong.
Maybe it isn’t.

Kind of reminds me of ending scene from Letter to Juilet.
“‘What’ and ‘If’ are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life…”

‘May’ and ‘be’ are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But you put them together side-by-side and they have the power to give you hopes to last a lifetime.

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