I sit here as my mother continues to shout at me for not studying for my exams. Rightly so, I should be studying (fun fact about me #1: I whine a lot when it comes to exams). I had decided that I would take a break and not blog till mid August. But then, our first anniversary calls for a special dedication and I couldn’t miss it for the world.
So, we complete a year. Not particularly today, but around this time. I am not really good at remembering dates (fun fact about me #2: I once forgot my own birthday). I wanted to write this to you, to tell you how important you are to me and how you have contributed in my feeble attempts to bring about a few changes in myself.
I recall meeting you a year back (well, almost). Let me first write about how I was before our eventful encounter.
I used to live in this small place that is famously knows as, ‘the shell’. I was the shy, quiet girl who was comfortable talking to only a few selected people who, I thought, weren’t the judgemental kind. New school, new people, I preferred being on my own most of the times. I wasn’t a loner though, I had made friends. Contrary to what it may have seemed then, I liked the new school. It was a breath of fresh air, but something was amiss. I was happy yet I could feel the emptiness within.
That was me, until I met you.
It was a very normal day, but I had this gut feeling that something was going to happen. Something good, an optimistic intuition which, I can assure you, rarely happened to me before (fun fact about me #3: I am a pessimist at heart). I think, ours was a case of love at first sight, or so I like to believe. Well, I can tell you that it was so from my end, but I am not sure if it was reciprocal. I clearly remember just standing there and staring at you. Nevertheless, we are now happily together, right?
You did something to me that no one ever could. Or more like, no one tried doing. You helped me make amends. You gave me the confidence that I badly needed. Made me believe in myself and my abilities and that, I think, is the most beautiful thing someone can do for someone else. Because of you, I have started talking to people. I have become so social that I amaze myself at times. Talk to the person who is walking next to me in the park? I can do that. Initiate a conversation in the elevator? You are now talking to the queen of awkward-conversation-maker-starter.
You introduced me to this world from which I had been hiding like a lunatic. I came to the realisation that humans aren’t so scary after all. My irritation and hatred towards companionship vanished after you happened. I have transformed into a better human being and that is the best compliment I can give to anyone. You made my weird hug phobia vanish into thin air. I now want to hug myself, my life and everyone else, but I refrain from doing so because it would be inappropriately awkward if I went around hugging anyone and everyone I saw. And for just this once, you made me realise that it’s okay to be myself. It’s okay to not think about what others are thinking of me. It’s okay to embrace my twisted and dark thoughts.
For someone who was reluctant to use public transport, I have travelled in way too many taxis ONLY because of you.
For someone who was petrified to face the world, I have become undaunted because of you.
For someone who was afraid to speak out loud, I have become plucky because of you.
This feeling of belonging is so strange, but it’s safe to say that when I first saw you, I knew that the coming years were going to be exciting and after one year, boy was I correct.
Ps. Yes, just like you, I also feel sad to dedicate this piece to my college life..