There is something very weird that has been happening to me lately. I cannot even begin to emphasise how weird it is. Now, if you are one of those people who thinks that I am arrogant, please stay and read this. You are in for a treat.
A month back, I got a compliment on my weight loss (lost kgs in a double digit number, but let’s not get into the technicalities). The weird thing is that, it hasn’t stopped since then. The compliments yaa’ni. And it is getting weird day by day. This other day, someone told me that I have become fairer after the weight loss.
How will the loss affect my complexion?
I have always believed that compliments are unnecessary, although I too give them to people, usually out of courtesy. I don’t get the whole concept of it. I am more of a critical analysis person. Even with what I write, I usually ask people for criticism. People I know or don’t know. I have been told that that is a sign of a perfectionist, but after years of thinking I have concluded that I like criticisms more than compliments because I know how to respond to them.
“Hey Shaiqa, I love your dress”
“Oh, I do too, that is why I am wearing it, duh!”
“Shaiqa, I really like your scarf”
“It’s a plain black scarf. What exactly do you like about it?”
“You look hot!”
“Please don’t call me that”
(But that is what I say in my head, I usually reply by telling the person to not make me blush and sound fake af)
“Your shoes are so pretty”
“I makes me look taller than my elder brother, doesn’t it?”
How I deal with my criticism-
“I think that your blog is getting monotonous”
“I was thinking the same. I have been brainstorming for ideas to give it a definite theme. Got any suggestions?”
*proceeds to have an hour long conversation*
“I think you look like a skeleton wrapped in skin and painted white”
(^my mother said that to me)
“Okay mum, I will put on some weight”
*ends up eating an entire cake*
It’s so bizarre when someone compliments you on the same thing, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I somehow understand the compliments if you see me in a new dress. But I don’t deserve a compliment when you see me for the nth time in a kurti that I’m wearing for the nth time. Makes me wonder if you want me to murder someone by bribing me with your ever so sweet words. A few days ago, I got so many compliments on my dress that I wanted to dig a hole and bury myself. At one time, an entire room filled with people cornered me and complimented. It was so claustrophobic. I also made a person take back their compliment by giving them my infamous poker face look. They apologised for complementing me.
I am not a very sweet human.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not being ungrateful. I am not saying that I don’t like being complimented. I LOVE being complimented. I love the bubbles and butterflies that erupt in my stomach when someone says that I look good on a particular day. I LOVE it when someone asks me for tips to maintain a good body shape.
(And also love Aaron Paul. Please don’t tell my father)
The problem lies in the fact that I don’t know how to respond to them. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels so. And according to me, the root cause of it are our insecurities.
What I think when other person compliments:
-Oh god! Why are they saying that?
-Are you being sarcastic?
-Why are you saying that you like my dress? Is there something on it?
-I am definitely looking like a pig, they are just complimenting to help me not slip into depression.
It’s very simple actually. We feel insecure because we think that we don’t deserve it. It’s basically us being paranoid and overly conscious of ourselves. We, as individuals, have certain amount of inferiority complex deeply imbedded within us. Of course, there are times when we think that we the most superior beings to have graced planet Earth. But the remaining 99% of the times, we feel the opposite. Which again, is common. Hence, the reluctance to accept a compliment.
Also, I think, for me it’s easy to accept compliments when I work hard for something. For example, I genuinely smile and utter a heartfelt thank you when someone compliments me on my blog. I never exaggerate when I say that their kind words made my day. Because I actually take out time and write. I think hard. I work for it. But if I get a compliment for something over which I have no control, like my looks or complexion then I am bound to respond in a weird fashion.
I know, this piece yells that I am bragging, but I had to say it.
So how am I expected to accept such compliments? What is the general protocol?
Saying thank you.
That’s it. Being the kind of person that I am, I Cannot even say thank you without sounding sassy.
But compliments are cool.
Compliments make me happy. And weird.
I like happy and weird.
Ps. I am not comfortable with the number of times I used the word ‘compliment’ in this piece. Does it have a synonym?