German woes.

Life is funny.
Especially when you try to learn a new language when you are 20 years old.

(It is also funny when your crush gets married or when you realise that you will die alone or when you fall down while walking and 30 people laugh at you)

((^Hypothetically speaking, of course))

I am afraid, but I should warn you- this post is a rant (yes, again). A rant about how I should be studying and not blogging (remember this?)

Here I am, sitting with 3 books and about 40 sheets spread on my table like Nutella on bread. All I am trying to do is revise what I have been studying for about 6 months now.

A tricky language.

A few months back, as I was lying on the bed with Breaking Bad on TV and a box of Pringles in my hand, I had the most absurdly brilliant idea enter my head.


Given that I had been doing nothing productive for a while, I decided to go ahead with my plan.

“How difficult can an A level diploma be?”

Today, I have an answer to the above question, VERY DIFFICULT.
But there is another question that I don’t have an answer to: why did I start it in the first place?
If you are bored, you sleep or read something or talk to a friend, you don’t decide to learn a new language merely because you have nothing to do. In an attempt to make myself feel good, I tried to jot down the points as to why learning this language might prove to be useful:

1) If there is an alien invasion on earth and the aliens will spare us only if I talk to them in german, move over Spiddy, I am the new savior of the planet.

2) If I were born a few decades prior to my birth year, I would have been able to convince Hitler to not send Jews (or anyone else) to the concentration camps.

3) I will be able to understand the plot of German porn movies.

4) I can become a secret agent and spy on Angela Merkel.

5) Learn pick up lines in german (you know why)

Which brings me to my next question, after all these months of attending classes, how much of german can I speak? I will answer that with an illustrative and whimsical example.
Sometimes I imagine 2 Germans in my head (say, Hitler and…Heidi Klum (if they existed in the same time period)) and how they must have had a general conversation between them:

Hitler- Wie ist ihr Name?
(What is your name?)

Heidi- Mein Name ist Heidi.
(My name is Heidi)

Hitler- Was trinkst du?
(What are you drinking?)

Heidi- Kaffee

Hitler- Ist dein Zimmer groß?
(Is your room big?)

Heidi- Ja.

Hitler- Ihr Klied ist so schön. Wo hast du gekauft?
(Your dress is so pretty. From where did you buy it?)

Heidi- Danke. Ich kaufe es aus dem Makt.
(Thank you, I got it from the market)

Hitler- Bitte. Auf Wiedersehen.
(Welcome. See you again)

Hitler and Heidi discussing dress..something tells me that I will miserably fail my exams.

Despite being difficult to learn a new a language at this age, I think, I like it. I like trying. It is fascinating. I love it how you have to make weird faces when trying to utter a very long word with a relatively simpler pronunciation. I love it how you strive and strive and then fail. It’s funny. But fun.

I would like to conclude by summing up the points:

1) I am jobless.
2) I am bad at history.
3) I am bad at speaking German.
4) Hitler, Heidi Klum and Merkel are literally the only 3 famous (or infamous) Germans that I know of.
5)My GK is also bad.
6) I should be studying.

Ich kann nicht gut deutsch.

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