Before I begin, I present an almost authentic apology to the absent audience of this blog.
I have been contemplating life a lot (not because I am jobless). Albeit, on an amazing spree where I over-analyze and self-agonize my actuality, I realized the importance of words in our animated lives. Alphabets, to be precise, attracted me to a great extent. You could say we were almost in a quite appalling relationship because words refused to come to me these past months as much as I wanted them to. I sat to write and all I could think of was how words are nothing but complex permutation and combinations of those 26 alphabets that were taught to us at the very beginning of our academic existence. Annoyed by my inability to form more combinations, I used to get up and avoid writing, sometimes for weeks. Other times, I wrote for people I cared for. Sent out letters after letters to those that mattered, which eventually proved to be futile because human beings are useless and inadequate piece of garbage.
This is my 37th frustrated attempt to write and I am going to make this about the words that fascinate me. Here I am, trying to make alphabets connect with my emotions because A for apple isn’t always very attaching.
Frankly, I am (A for) astonished by the world. I am now slowly coming to the realization that people are (A for) abrasive. As cynical as I may sound, no one cares. Irrespective of your (A for) affections or (A for) actions, people are (A for) awful.
I am (A for) angry.
I am (A for) anxious.
I am (A for) afraid.
I am (A for) awakened because every (A for) atom of goodness that I had in me has been replaced by venom for those that made me change the (A for) appreciation that I had for life.
But here’s the thing-
We (A for) adapt.
Situations (A for) alter.
We (A for) adjust again.
Then we finally (A for) accept.
A for acceptance. That is all that matters. We accept others and we want to be accepted by others. We may say that the latter is not of significance, but we would be lying to ourselves. As goes my favorite quote, “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.”
We accept circumstances, consequences, and people alike. It is often not easy. It takes times. It has stages that are atrociously difficult to complete. It’s the exact opposite of an annoying game. The beginning levels are more difficult and as you continue playing, acceptance becomes easier. It happens, slowly and steadily, with time. But it happens.
When you start accepting- you tend to reason a lot. You look for excuses and explanations. At the start, you have an entire dissertation paper ready filled with logic, quantitative and qualitative research, case studies and analysis to substantiate your view point of any said situation. Then you realize that maybe it is not needed, the more you write and dig deep, the more difficult it will get. Instead of a paper, you settle with an essay that simplifies it all. Then the epiphany dawns that maybe the essay is not needed and a paragraph would suffice. Eventually paragraphs turn into sentences, sentences into words, and words into silence.
That is when you know that the process has completed and it’s safe to accurately acknowledge it.
This acceptance does not necessarily have to be related to grief of a broken heart or a messed up relationship, it can be associated to anything or everything. For example I have legitimately taken a considerable amount of time to accept the following:
- In 2013, the last episode of Breaking Bad sent me into one such turmoil when it was so difficult for me to get over the fact that I won’t be seeing Pinkman again (still watching re-runs);
- One of my most favorite songs in the universe is called Words. It so happened that I first heard a cover of the song by Boyzone, which I fell in love with. It was not until 2015 that I realized that the song was originally sung by Bee Gees. Stay’n Alive was very difficult then. It was a rather disturbing stage in my life. I don’t talk about it anymore;
- Once there was no toy in my Kinder Surprise egg. I almost sued them for such deceit. It wasn’t until this month did I accept the fact that people lie and the world is not a bed of roses, filled flying unicorns and everything shiny;
- Ryan Reynolds got married in 2012 and I am yet to accept that he cannot be mine;
- It was arduous to accept that every time I get a haircut, I cannot show it off because.….with the scarf.
Having said that, accepting circumstances does not mean you accept the negative aspects without putting up a good fight. The following are the few of the many things you should NEVER accept:
- Bakeries deceiving you by selling raisin cookies in the name of choco chip cookies;
- An abusive partner or a bad relationship;
- Someone borrowing your books and returning it with a wrinkle or a folded page.
- Someone belittling you or your achievements or hard work;
- Someone sending you the link to this blog post.
- As the famous philosopher and philanthropist of our times, Kanye West said, “I refuse to accept other people’s ideas of happiness for me. As if there’s a ‘one size fits all’ standard for happiness.”
To conclude, a lot of times, we find ourselves at crossroads in life that we think are too strenuous to understand. Too hard to solve. Too difficult to forget.
Give it time.
Acceptance is not easy, but boy oh boy, it’s beautiful (not as beautiful as Ryan Reynolds though).