C for College

College- a place that offers the choicest array of conundrums. For example-
1. Should I eat breakfast or attend the morning lecture?
2. Should I have a social life or die under the burden of books?
3. Should I kill my friends for waking me up from my slumber during the lecture or leave them alive as life will eventually fill them with void and they will die a slow, more painful death?
4. Should I accept the fact that I don’t have any friends who will wake me up or continue living a delusional life?

College- a place full of comical ironies, as it’s:
1. Where magic happens but yet something as simple and realistic as development doesn’t;
2. Where you meet many people but hope that you don’t meet many people;
3. Where you learn a lot of new things but also unlearn the art of living.

College- a place full of cheesy happenstances:
1. Where you make friends that will last a lifetime;
2. Where you eat so much of cheesy and fattening food that you gain 20kgs.

That is to say, college is a place where you have to make choices to survive while being hit by a massive bulldozer of ironies that can manage to flatten and destroy your life like no other.

Some may call me cynical for being excessively negative about a fairly important phase of our lives. It would be cunningly conniving of me to only concentrate on the obstructive aspects of it. So here’s a list of all the nice and sparkly things that college taught me.

1. Prioritize:
Given the above-mentioned conundrums under section 1 of the post, college helps us make decisions that will ultimately lead to a successful life. At times, those choices will lead you to mild or severe case of depression, sleep deprivation, low self-esteem, unhappiness, sadness, unhealthy and unethical competition, existential crisis and nihilism, but it is worth the success. Trust me. I am one of the billion voices on the Internet.

Positive note- you end up watching a lot of Ted talks and therefore some poor bloke handling their YouTube channel can proudly boast of the views and revenues they are getting. 

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Words to fly by (GEDDIT?)

2. Human relationships:
I will admit, socializing had never been my forte but college changed that.
It is this mystical land where you will meet people from all walks of life. Someone will end up as acquaintances, some as ‘extended friends circle’, some as friends who you will lose contact with in a few years, and some as friends that will stay a lifetime (even worse!). You will get into terrible relationships that will make you question the existence of a human heart in every living and moving body.

You will also find people that you want to hug really tight, but not too tight because you don’t want them to suffocate and die. Then you will meet people whose body you will want to garnish with salt and lemon juice and paint them cyan after inflicting them with a 1000 paper cuts. Mystical land, told you.

Positive note- it gives you creative ideas on how to inflict wounds. 

3) Expectations:

We have often heard and read that expectations eventually lead to disappointment. In college, you will experience it first hand!
Here’s how it works:
Like a fool, you will expect marks on the exams you take because you studied for them for 1 month. You put your sweat and 2 cycles of blood in preparation of the much-awaited exams in the hope that it will yield some results. But oh you sweet, innocent child of the great lord above, you are wrong. Your world’s about to blast from here to Mars.
You will score a 15 on 50 because some examiner who was checking your paper woke up on the wrong side of the bed and decided to be grumpy not realizing the fact that his godforsaken pen has the potential to shape someone else’s entire life.

Positive note- it prepares you for a lifetime of disappointment, which will eventually make you immune to the wicked ways of existence.

In conclusion, I sincerely hope that I managed to encourage you to study and enter college (if you are still a high school student, that is). Be the courageous, captivating, crafty soul that you are and fight it all with a calm and calculated method that will take you far. Let ironies fill your life. Be a cautious canine and a capable, caffeine-fuelled camel. Be a catty culprit and a cute, charismatic caterpillar. Be the casual child and a chafed champion.

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Sorry for the long rant. D for dessert, anyone?

4 Comments

  1. Haha Shaiqa, very good. College is indeed full of conundrums. I’ve heard it described as a place where people can go to avoid becoming mature, self-capable adults. After being in college for so long, I’m beginning to wonder if that’s true…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey, Josh!

      Just like every time, you heard it correct. I would suggest that humans should go to the jungle to try and become mature, self-capable adults. We can all take inspiration from Tarzan or the jaguar commenting on this post.
      Hope your awesome trip is going well and productive.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks Shaiqa! I honestly don’t know if I’ll, be able to handle college again after having done something more “real.”

        The trip has indeed been productive, but not in the ways I expected. More on that when I’ve had more time to think/write.

        Liked by 1 person

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